just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
