glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
