Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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