so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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