Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
