I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
