I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
