I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
