I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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