I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize