Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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