Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
