I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
