It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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