Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
