Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
