Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
