OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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