her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I believe in your delicious
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize