4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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