Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
