I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
