Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Never underestimate the power of titties
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
