New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
