escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
