Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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