I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
