She announced her abortion via fbk
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
