You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
