C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
