i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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