I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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