yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
