Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
