Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
