I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
