The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
