She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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