I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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