My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
don't judge my taste in strippers
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
