I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
