I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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