he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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