i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There's always time for handjobs
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
