the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
