I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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