I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
