i jhust puked up my retainher.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
