I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
