you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
