Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
