You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
