I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
