do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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