I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
