No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
