Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
