she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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